First violin, second violin, Viola virtuoso and a bear are at the four corners of a football field. At the traffic light, someone drops a $100-ticket in the middle of the field and run to catch him. Belonging to this? Every one of them. Rotate the lamp for several hours and to decide that it well, that will come, and it could be the switch. Teacher (with horns): let us have the F in harmony! Violist (for teachers): Please switch F ' to? When was he the Pope asked (do not forget) what Catholic music, Igor Stravinsky, which allegedly replied without hesitation: they give us the Castrati! three violin makers have for years doing business in the same block in the small town of CremonaItalia. After years of Peacefulco, beloved shop decided put a sign in the window saying: make us the best Italy Guarneri violins Bank soon Followedsuit and put a sign in his window to announce: we make the Bestviolins of the world. Finally, the family of Stradivari sets a sign Miramossus shop says: to do the best violin in the block were a violinist, you've got to play a job after a recital in a mental institution. Performed brilliant concert and behind the scenes after Theconcert, visit received by an institutionalized patients. The concert, played was fascinating. The Wasstunning therefore clearly has the Capriccio by Paganini, Bach's counterpoint and Init Debussy phrasing was simply gorgeous! says the patient. Why, thank you, said the musician (think that the normal person to Pareciaalgo for an institutionalized person). Are there chances of a musician? Oh, Yes, he was concertmaster of the Orchestra for many years the Veplayed all big concerts: Tchaikovsky, Brahms, Mozart, Majorones all. He said the patient. Wow, said that the musicians fantastic. so Dorecitals? Yes, I have all important sonatas, Bach, Kreisler, Vieuxtemps and wide, the patient says. Wow! Have you ever seen a Chamber? asked the violinist. Oh, Yes. The patient said duets, trios, quintets and sextets, all major repertoire. Played confused, the violinist once asked string quartets? Patients had suddenly applied quartets and scream! String quartets. Streichquartette.Eine number of years was the Seattle Symphony Beethoven. Geiger, his dear wife, Oh said, you can play Myviolin. the woman responds: I'd rather, a harmonica you want! Once, the way of the bow on a Fanwhile in the locker room were Jacques Thibault, the violinist, after a concert. There's plenty of room in this, he said. What should I write? An another violinist, waiting, offered the following tips: to write your directory. No, know your face? a judge wants to Encerradoa of the defendant asked. Yes, your honor, replied the man hopefully. I have son violin classes gave him last winter. Ah, Yes, recalled the judge. Twenty years! A musician called the Symphony Office to speak with the driver. I'm sorry, he's dead, comes the reply. The musicians back 25 times, still getting the same response from Thereceptionist. Finally, she asks him, why he gets to keep. I like to say, the musicians came to the gates of paradise. What you did, if you're still alive?, St. Pierre asked. It was awarded the solo trombonist of the London SymphonyOrchestra. We have a vacancy in our Heavenly Symphony trombonist. Why does not appear in the next Ensayoasi, that, when it our friend of time for the next test came with his heavenly trombone [sic]. As he took his seat by Dios, Amysterious way on the podium and tapped to bring his magic wand of Toattention players. Addressing our friend that second trombone player Angélique Andwhispered (!), this is a God as a pilot? Oh, that most of the time OK, but sometimes I think it's VonKarajan. It was the evening of the concert and all the Notablesshowed people to hear. However 8 and Theconductor approached still not appeared. Director was desperate to know they have to pay the money back, when he canceled the concert, I went backstage and asked you, that all musicians who might be. None of them could and so were the staff asked if someone could bring. I was not happy, so I started on people in the lobby, in the hope that perhaps one could from them the concert evening on issues. Not yet found none, so he came out and started Askingeverybody when they pass. She had a bit of luck, or the concert achieved this time was 15 minutes late departing. The wizard Managercame to say that the people are impatient and Demandtheir money back. Desperate Manager took expected and saw a cat, a dog and a Horsestanding on the road. Oh, hell, he said: we wonder what have we to lose? So did the Director and the Deputy Director the cat and the cat Managerasked, white, how to proceed? meowed the cat white not, I'll try, but as the Treaty very difficult, but not Soportabaque standing on its hind legs. The Director sighed and thanked Jack and then with the dog. Dog think she asked: I can do? Bicycle dog teach me, but although he could resist waves his front legs and Paws of chips, not Uprightlong keep enough survived a motion. Well, good try, the Administrator said that the dog and with a sigh, Ofresignation turned to horse. Horse, asked him: and you can do? The horse saw him for a moment and Thenwithout enable a Word, put them behind, honing gargle in perfect started four times. This goes! the Director said: the tyrant of Tin from the concert! However at this time, the horse was a load of splash, Deputy Director Street.Il was horrified and said that the Manager can this behavior of the horse! Thinking that would be Orchestra? the Manager looked first at the back end of the horse and then splash Street and Respondioconfianza from this angle, the Orchestra or know that they also have a new Director!Once it was a blind and blind snake, rabbit, both in the same life neighborhood. A beautiful day, blind rabbit jumping Happilydown the road to his house, when he collided with someone. Apologizingprofusely, he explained, I'm blind and I saw there, however said the snake, because it also blind and sees not the step of their journey. followed by a gradually more intimate conversation and finally Thesnake says: is the best conversation I had with someone for a long time. Do you mind if I felt that you see as you look? Why not, said the rabbit. Go on. Continua.Il the rabbit wrapped in Snake and mixed and Snuggledhis coils and said: MMMM! six Andcuddly. soft and warm and fuzzy and ears! You must be a conejo.por, it's true! He said the rabbit. I feel?, next. He said that extends the snake adhesive on the way. The rabbit began to caress the body of a snake with legs and moved then disgusted. Disgusting!, he said. You're a slimy cold.and. You must be a conductor! a man enters a parrot is an animal Act. The writers of the memory two beautiful has shown on the floor. Is $5,000 and the other is $10, 000, said the Secretary of State. Wow! The $5,000 to do so? This parrot can sing, that any Violin Master Pro Any Good air that Mozart wrote. and the others? the customer said. This can sing Wagner's tetralogy. There is another one in the back room of 30,000 dollars. Wow! What makes you have a? I can say anything, but the other two parrots master called him. MOM, the girl who said I can Analintercourse become pregnant? Of course I said-with her mother. How is Thinkconductors made? a new Director was at his first trial. It was not good. Waswary of the musicians as they were to him. When he sample leave the room, a bit coarse sound & Quotbong Thetimpanist. be angry, said the pilot, okay! Who is doing what? Geiger was hired for the Hallé Orchestra in England. To Hisaudition, I spoke to the driver. You think about AboutBrahms?, questions you the pilot. Ah. the violinist said: Brahms is a good guy. Realtalented musicians. In fact, he and I played some duets Togetherlast week! the driver was hit. And what do you think about Mozart? She asked. Oh, that's great! I have dinner with him only last week! replied the violinist. The violinist, then the clock looked and said she would leave the train to London 01.30. Later, the pilot spoke to the members of the Council. It felt very uncomfortable when you lease this violinist, because it seemed a serious credibility gap, he said. The driver knew with certainty that no1: 30 had a train to London. ? (true story) If you the great tenors of the world and to end is made, it would be a good idea. String Quartet: a good violinist, an evil Geiger, former violinist and someone who the violinists hates getting together, to complain about composers. Wilma specializes in the manufacturing of snide remarks about conductors and musicians playing on the violin? The probability of a negative comment on a particular musician is probably 4 to 7, and the driver 16 17 opportunities. If there are 103 Orchestra musicians and Orchestra each year shows 26 different drivers how many negative comments Wilma is in two years? As this change, when five of the musicians are also drivers? What happens when drivers are also musicians. As the driver, when he heard the amber has recording of the piece. This means that you can learn a thing or two from him. Also: Ask, this is the first time you, that part did? We take note, twelve violins were identical tones play first, how were the violins seconds. Three violins in each section according to reinforced that it seems to be the case. ,,.